live high.

i figured i should sneak a post, since leaving the previous one on top gives the impression that i'm in perpetual depression.

the past month or so has been pretty uneventful, save a few knock ups here and there. but now ain't really the time to ponder and worry over such issues. shall just keep it for post november 20th

which reminds me, i think this is probably the first year i'm spending my birthday in the midst of the examinations. haha random thought of the day.

well i guess there ain't much to do, except study real good and leave no room for regrets. i shall work toward that goal. whether the As come by would be a different story altogether.

cleared my cube in the range today. how time flies. hahaha okay now's not the time to emo potato and reminisce. i doubt i'll be touching this place for a month, or forever for that matter. should be switching to a different URL. we'll see.

all the very best to everyone in the middle of Os, and those who will be taking their As soon!

when the going gets tough.

today was a day of setbacks.
and painful realisations of the complicated.

my grades are not up to par, and i lost my earphones which are probably a month old at best. i had a head that hurt so much i asked my mum to pick me, as ridiculous as it sounds considering where i live.

three knocks to the head, stab at the heart. break his spirit.

for a day at least. hopefully nothing more.

mraz was here.

and i was nowhere near :(

i don't want to wake the sleeping bag up.

muttons and the adventure of ping and pong make me happy :)

anyway, here's a quick update.

sunday was terribly scary. we beat NUS by 1 point for third, and they were eyeballing NUS shooters' cards to double check their score. for 20 minutes that day i was totally immobilised and my heart was pounding cause i was so worries the recount would result in NUS beating us by like 1 point and us losing the medal. but luckily, it turns out we won by 3 points! cabbed down with zhang yang to get our medal. wheeeeee. even though it's a terrible colour, i'm still proud of us haha. took some photos, shall post them up.

speaking of photos, i realised that my blog is weird. i'm a photographer and i don't show any pictures. i shall attempt to put up more photos from now on (assuming i have the time haha

monday - finals. first final was crappy with a 92 i think. second one was better with a 95. had to shoot off with this jillian tay (if i'm not wrong) from sjc. ended up shooting 3 shots for the shootoff because we both shot tens for the first two. it was super nerve wrecking. coach came to announced my score before hers, so everytime i heard she shot a ten too i was like "noooooo i have to shoot againnnnnn" and drooped my head against the rifle. which was pretty bad cause i looked like i was pissed that she shot a ten according to shengy and jun han. so if you're jillian or her friend and you see this, please let her know that i didn't mean it that way hoho. anyway to end it off, i shot a third 10 and she shot a 9, ending the agony haha

tuesday's test - emotional roller coaster, as seen by my scores. 99.91.97.87(pw this year).95.97. can only blame myself for shooting the 87 and 91. really dragged my average down like mad. oh well, do better next time.

today's finals - first one was a hahaha finals again. shot six or seven consecutive nines, ended with a 91? was quite sian-diaoed even though i wasn't nervous at all. had to shootoff for 4th i think. second one was better at 94, but still quite bad in general. had to shootoff again, ended 5th. can't believe my luck seriously. shoot 4 finals kena 3 shootoffs. 75%

brought jeannel, deng chao and huiyuan (i think that's how they are spelled) to vj to have a look around cause they're interested in coming over. although i thought that the tour we gave them was terribly boring because nothing was going on in school, they actually thought it was quite fun. haha hopefully they really think so and didn't say so just to make us feel good ^^

tomorrow's the last day at gombak. kinda sad to leave, it's a great place to be training, but oh well. good things always come to an end. training's in the morning, but the bus back to vj to ferry the weapons is only at 9.15pm after the others train. probably bring my work and guitar so i can chiong math and relax when i have to.

terribly long post for a quick update. heh.

CLIC + NUSIS

well well, it's been a while, and i reckon it's time to drop by for abit and do a little update.

CLIC has been over for about 2 weeks now. it turned out to be a pretty successful camp, and the participants really enjoyed themselves. more importantly, they learnt alot as well. hopefully they'll take back all the lessons that they've learnt and bring it back to their CCAs :)

on the facilitators part, i think we're really glad that all our efforts have finally paid off. all the facil-led activities were a blast. icebreakers, station games, cluedo, bash night, leadership forum etc. oh and i'm really glad that cluedo turned out the way we wanted it to, even though there could have been a little more emphasis on the peer counselling bit. it was funny to see all the facils dressed up and role-playing.

i was totally melting while wearing the policeman's uniform and hat and patrolling the hilly landscape of halls 10 and 11. all the resident's thought i was a real policeman and some of they were so scared that they when they saw me, they immediately stopped flopping down the stairs noisily and started to walk real silently. it was hilarious. oh and i accidentally walked into a wrong room in full police uniform thinking it was nazri's and kenji's room, and scared the shit out of the guy ^^ haha. 

well to the facils: calvin, jarren, eirene, nazri, hannah, dhilshad, kenji, phoebe, xianglin and darren. thanks for being such great people and making this whole experience soooo uber wonderful, fun, enriching and memorable. all the efforts that we put in together, all the late nights we had finalising the little details, making sure that the activities would run smoothly, have finally paid off. also, thanks for all the LOSER moments that made the camp all the more hilarious! it was a great camp and i'll cherish the memories of this chapter in my life forever!

and to my dearest and most awesomest group asymptote: you guys are totally amazing. honestly, i was unsure about how you guys would turn out. i'm really glad that you guys took everything seriously and made the effort to take ownership of your own learning. reviewing your group goals at your own initiative and also actively seeking to improve yourselves constantly during the activities. although there was quite a bit of pushing from me on the first and second day, you guys rose to the challenge, i really did not have to intervene much after that. you guys were second for the station games on day 1, and first for mona lisa's code, balloon sculpture, and night cluedo. that is truly imba, and it is something only you guys can do. keep up the attitude, and i'm sure you'll all do good to your CCAs :)

right then, on to shooting

after CLIC, i started my training at HTNS in bukit gombak after a break of about 3 weeks due to the planning of CLIC. the initially feeling was great, and i felt pretty stable. the first test was on my second day of training and i fired a 756/800. second test on the 4th day was much worse, probably around 746 or so, never really counted. there were a lot of fluctuations, namely due to 2 issues, stability/controlling the gun and not being able to let go

these 2 problems continued on till this week, and i was starting to feel really uptight about them. trainings were poor, and when i was put on the SCATT system, i was absolute rubbish. i didn't train on wednesday and thursday, and i told myself that for NUSIS, i'm just going to do 2 things, maintain my stability, and LET GO.

first series was poor. i was still controlling a little and my shots were jerking. hit my poorest series of a 92. things were much better after that. i shot a 99 for my second series. although the first shot of my third series was a 7, i had no problems letting go at all, and i went on to hit a 9 and a 10 after that, third series ended as a 93 due to the first shot, but that's okay. last three series were 96,96 and 93. i was a little shaky on the last series, but i think it was still o-kay. so i ended the comp with a 92.99.93.96.96.93 - 569

kenneth and zhang yang underperformed yesterday with a 563 and 565, but we're all more aware of our problems now, so NUSIS was a really great stepping stone for nationals. hopefully with added awareness in our training we'll all do much better for nationals. 

common test is coming in 2 weeks. i'm finding it real hard to juggle between studying and training, mainly due to the travelling time involved in training. i guess i'm too used to walking to school in 10 mins that 90 mins of bus and mrt is really killing me. having to scope three people yesterday meant that i didn't really touch math at all again. (i have a bad feeling about math again doh)

scoping is actually pretty fun, especially when you have kenneth by your side. i was scoping this xiao xuan from dhs at that time, it was probably the 4th detail i think. kenneth was scoping a jian ya from TJY school (actually it's her initials, don't really know what school she's from haha) we didn't know her name at first and concluded that it should be tan jia you! kenneth was giving a live commentary of every single shot and was being damn animated. and he kept bitching about how she was faking him by pretending to aim and putting the gun down halfway, leaving kenneth peering through the scope for the longest time. haha loserrr! 

mega uber long post. haha. cheers

update.

haven't been to this place for a long long while, until jek just alerted me that there was someone flaming me on the tagboard.

it went something like this "well well well, so this hypocrite has been emoing on this blog for quite some time now." as well as something about not being able to practise what i preached in the forum. oh and this part is interesting - "watch your dirty mouth daniel ong wei liang"

looking at the last few posts, it's easy to understand where that person is coming from. in fact, i've been wanting to put up a happy post for quite some time now just to show that i'm not such a dull person lol.

but honestly, the times when i feel truly motivated to blog is when i'm feeling down and i need some form of output just to feel a little better. other times, i'd rather be spending my time doing more productive stuff heh.

well to the person who tagged, i think you don't really know or understand me that well, so it's little wonder why you said that. i don't documment my life here, these are just bits that i feel like talking about to relieve the stress :) oh and do let me know what you mean by my dirty mouth. i'm still quite puzzled why you said that ^^

anyways, if you don't mind revealing your identity, you can stop me in school and we can chat eh? haha cheers.

on a more serious note, let me talk about the soccer guys and the final on wednesday.

i remember 3 years ago, we were in the finals at the national stadium. we eventually lost on penalties, which was a real pity. we cried at the players at the end of the match, it was heart-wrenching.

having watched many of our matches this year, i really feel that it was the best team we've fielded in the 4 years i've been in VJ. there were no inflated egos to maintain, the way the team connected was really awesome and it was wonderful as a supporter to see the team spirit that they displayed. i was extremely confident that we had a very good chance of lifting the trophy again.

in the end, it was a shaky first half that led to the eventual scoreline. however, the second half was a completely different story. it was the team that we had seen all season, dominating on the opponent's half and creating numerous chances for each other. unfortunately, as gavin said, we were unable to convert the chances into goals.

i felt really sad when the whistle was blown for full time. MJ could not even get a shot on target during the second half, while we were constantly battering their defences. nonetheless, i was extremely proud of the soccer guys' determination and persistence, and they are truly champions in their own right. kudos to them all!

urgh.

i'm actually dreading school tomorrow. if not for the forum thingy we're doing for the year ones tomorrow, i probably would just not go to school altogether.

i fell asleep numerous times in class today. i just feel...weak. sigh.

took a break and watched the match before going for tuition. it was scary with sr opening the game, but by the end, it was obvious that the scoreline should easily be something like 7-1 rather the 3-1 it finished as.

mock skill b tmr. essay question 1a. math tutorial. oh and i haven't prepared what i'm going to speak about tomorrow for the forum.

gosh. i'm starting to get really jaded about life again.

the lifeless weekend.

i'm ill again. it's becoming a monthly affair now. felt totally off during training yesterday, took a short nap in the afternoon hoping things would improve.

woke up with a really sore throat and flu. wasting the weekend away really. i feel too weak to do anything. i wish there wasn't school tomorrow. ah enough ranting.

haven't touched this place for nearly a month now. air rifle camp was pretty well done it seemed. after all those late nights planning, doing and worrying, it all seemed worth it hearing that the members really enjoyed themselves. a big thank you to pflug, penguin, faizah, kenneth and zhang yang for their efforts in helping to organise the camp, without which it wouldn't have been so successful.

in the midst of selecting the new exco now. will talk more about it soon, hopefully in the near future.

my tank came two mondays ago. as i was filling it up with water on tuesday, i discovered a few deep scratches in the front panel of the glass. called the tank maker who came down on wed, and told me that i would have to wait another two weeks. you can imagine an energy level diagram. there was me with lots of energy at the beginning, eager to start the tank up. then there was me after that, lifeless (exagerration). if i may add, the reaction was highly exothermic, with the huge loss of energy coming in the form of dreading the two weeks of anticipation that i had to endure before the replacement would arrive.

pardon the chunk of rubbish above. just felt like it.

ct1.

tomorrow (today) may be the first time in jc that i walk into a biology exam feeling unprepared.

i suppose i cannot expect too much, considering i spent a lot of time training for NTUNIS which only finished last friday.

94.96.89.95.93.92 - 559.

was an okay shoot, managed feelings relatively well. apart from the third series, i kinda felt that the tens were not coming, especially in the last two series.

i guess looking on the positive side, i've progressed immensely. from shooting rubbish like 7.0 in my first nationals comp to now, shooting 9.3 and thinking that i shot below average.

ahh. evolution beckons.

sleep dreprived.

i sent out a message, then the phone to my ear and waited for a ringing tone without realising it.

falling asleep during tutorials like never before.

my shooting’s been terrible. i can just cheek in and fall asleep.

monthly on sun, bio spa on mon, chem spa tue, ntu on fri. cts.

haha. life.

i wonder.

cts are coming up. in two weeks in fact. but.

i have a competition this sunday, and next friday.
march camp has to be settled.
i am bloody tired.

i know there's alot more to the above but i just don't want to continue thinking about it. i'm really doubting CTs now. i somehow wish NTUNIS isn't next friday. that effectively leaves me only the weekend to actually mug full time. oh wait there's training on sat.

it doesn't help that i'm falling ill. the last time i fell ill was just a month ago. apparently my body isn't taking this lifestyle very well. lifestyle's too nice a word anyway.

i really wonder what it would be like if things got worse. oh well. i guess life's like that. the good times, and the bad times. and the terrible ones, which tend to last terribly long.

jan ssa monthly.

i realised i haven't talked about this, so here it is.

94.94.96.94.95.95 - 568.

overall, it was a good shoot. despite shooting two eights in my first series, i still managed to control my emotions and finish the series with a 94. there was also consistency throughout the shoot, as can be seen by the small deviation of the series scores. i didn't think too much about unecessary stuff, and made sure that i did not force shots that i were not confident of.

so yep. that's jan ssa monthly. no sure if i'll go for feb htns monthly, will see.

stressed.

tired. and demoralised and jaded.

the past week has been really tough for me. late nights, endless tutorials, trainings etc.

my coach has advised me to go for every ssa monthly shoot from now on, to try and get myself ranked such that it will be much easier for me to join safsa in NS.

my first competition is on this sunday, and judging from today's shoot, i'm in a horrible, disgustingly bad position. it's demoralising.

requesting to play badminton for pe  was a huge mistake. my muscles are currently in coma and that's not helping me shoot either.

i suppose when times are tough, you have to look forward to the bright side. but with the amount of catching up to do, i feel like i'm far from catching up with the light at the end of the tunnel.

who knows, i may even be tumbling further and further away. i suppose, it's time to get used to the fact that, well, i have no life. in a personal sense, that i have no leisure time anymore. it's hard really, but i guess the truth hurts.

oh well. i hope things turn out good soon.


I'm too hard at work.
Have you ever heard of anything so absurd
ever in your life.
I'm sorry for wasting your time.

orientation.

has been getting more and more fun as the day progresses.

from a shy, stone thesifer, to a crazy, hyper thesifer, i'm glad that we've managed to turn the tables around.

i just really wish my throat would clear. just finished suntec, it was a blast. the rain was reminiscent of two years ago when we danced in the rain. really cool atmosphere. but i kinda stoned towards the end. my throat was just sian.

lame games under the escalator was fun. but the journey home was bad. i coughed so bad i gagged. i thought i was going to puke. it felt so. but i managed to come home without doing a merlion.

looking forward to sea regatta, but not wanting orientation to end. i want my voice back, and a normal throat so i can enjoy food again.